Thursday, January 21, 2010

Young Love

Remember your first love? I had lots of crushes. Many stories of me chasing boys around the playground. Josh Smith and I started going out when I was in 3rd grade, it wasn't love. I knew it wasn't going anywhere when he asked to hold my hand and I ran.
But first love, ugh. It still kinda hurts to think about it. Puppy Love. The kind that you stay up all night on the phone saying nothing.

We were watching the latest Harry Potter the other night, there is so much more high school love in this. I looked over at Ian and just had pity. He's got it coming. He's so stinkin' cute, and funny, and what girl would fall head over heals for him. Oh, and he's going to hurt. I said something along the lines of, "One day some girl that you think is the world is going to break your heart". (You'll learn I'm not so graceful with words all of the time, I'm not one to beat around the bush...I say that and it's usually just because I can't think of a better way to say something other than what it is - I usually regret what I say once it's out too). I followed it up with, "But then one day you'll meet someone awesome and you'll love her, and we'll love her, and she'll love you and you'll be best friends forever". I realize this is lame.
He just listens and then confidently states, "Oh, that's ok. I'll just go on". Steven and I double over in laughter. This is how we met. (Another story for another time).

Ian came home from school last week mortified that someone told all of his friends that he liked this certain girl. I try to tell him, "Just play it cool, own up to it. Girls like a guy who knows what he wants". Didn't work.
Yesterday I hear him running from the bus after school shouting, "April! Guess what! Kirsten likes me!" Well of course she does, she'd be crazy if she didn't. His face was the sweetest thing. He's yet to have a conversation with her. He, however, remembered her haircut and her outfit from that day. What is happening?

It's just been setting in more and more how short of a time we really do have left with him. He's 9. In 10 years he'll be college. That scares me. There are things I want him to know in these last few impressionable years. Things that he can take with him his whole life and never have to question.
Here is my list so far:
1. He is loved by his Creator. NO MATTER WHAT
2. His Dad and I unconditionally love him.
3. He matters.
4. A clean toilet goes a long way.
5. Respect others.
6. Take your vitamins.
7. Do what you love.

The list will grow.
I realize that even though Steven and I want to instill these things in him, somedays we just want to make sure he is fed.

Do you have a list?

Saturday, January 16, 2010


I've already gone back on my "word" for this blog. It's been a good month and a half since I've written in this. So, apologies to all of my followers. (Thats a joke, as I think maybe 6 of my close girl friends read, sorry to Aubrey, Sarah, Nikki, Bekah, D., and Steph)

I realized that I really needed to get back to this oh, 3 minutes ago when I was leaving a comment on one of my favorite blogs and I just was on a know, being the annoying comment leaver that writes about 3 paragraphs worth of crap thinking other people would actually be interested in it.

The question that I commented on was, "What's the single hardest thing about parenting?"
If you leave a comment you automatically enter into a contest to win a new book that I really want to read..., which is why I left a comment...only the second time in my life I've done that...

OK, back to the subject...
The sing most hardest thing about parenting...for me...BALANCE...learning what that actually means for me. I usually don't realize that I haven't been living a balanced life until I'm on the verge of explosion. Poor Steven.

I've been a wife, a roll I absolutely love, for 3 months today! Compared to being a mom full time, being a wife is a cake walk. Steven can stay home by himself if I want to go to the book store and stroll around for no good reason. But, because of where we are in life right now, Steven works a lot, and I am at home with Ian...A LOT. And this morning I really just want to leave and go out by myself. It's really small situations like this that make me go crazy, thinking I'm super selfish, I am, for wanting something for myself. And then thinking, when was the last time I went out and did something, just me, besides driving to work or to the grocery store...and I have to say it's been oh...since November. BALANCE.

Something else that I find as being a mom is the control to change your perspective. Like right now, instead of getting bent out of shape about not being able to get out and do what "I" want, I get to hang at home, get some things done (in my p.j.'s), and spend some time with Ian.

What a eye opener family life is. You hold this huge mirror up all the time. You see yourself for who you really are. I find more and more that I want to say "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" to my mom. I love Ian more and more. And I know that I'm growing on him too, I know because he gave me a good night hug on his own last night...usually I have to force his arms around me. That's worth it all.

Today's theme song...Mushaboom by Feist.

This is Ian and I this morning, being a couple of lazy bones.